Wien Fung shares how elderly isolation can be overcome with radical love.
The recent news about the tragic deaths of actor Gene Hackman and his wife, Betsy Arakawa, has deeply affected me. Arakawa died from hantavirus, likely one week before Hackman, whose Alzheimer's meant he probably didn't even realise his wife had passed away. The thought of this elderly couple spending their final days alone, unknown, undiscovered deeply troubled me.
This shock resonated deeply, echoing my own experiences of grief. Last year, my father passed away, and I wasn't able to be there with him at the end. Since then, I've wondered many times what those final moments were like for him. Did he feel alone? Was he afraid? Did he know how much he was loved? It's a pain that never really leaves you — the questions, the regrets, and the longing to have done things differently.
A silent epidemic
Yet, as painful as Hackman and Arakawa's story is, it's sadly not unusual. Thousands of elderly people in the UK, and especially here in London, live and die in profound isolation. Age UK reports that nearly a million older people (aged 65+) in the UK are often lonely with no one to turn to when they need someone to talk to or need help with something. Shockingly, 1 in 40 older people in England go a week without speaking to a friend or family member.
In our city renowned for its liveliness, filled with millions, loneliness hides in plain sight. Whether it's behind the closed doors of council estates, care homes, or even within our own families, it's a hidden crisis. It's especially heartbreaking in London, where community ties can feel fragile, and relationships strained by busy lives, financial pressures, or simple neglect.
Arakawa's story, as an Asian American woman raised in a culture known for its deep respect and value placed on family connections, further highlights the paradox that isolation can affect anyone. Traditionally, East Asian cultures highly value family loyalty,
intergenerational living, and close familial bonds. Yet even in these communities, shifts toward individualism, geographic distances, and unspoken family tensions create painful fractures. It’s a silent epidemic — hidden beneath the surface of expectation, honour and shame, families silently drifting apart, leaving elderly relatives alone, vulnerable, and forgotten.
Radical love
As Christians, this issue calls out to our faith in powerful ways. At the heart of our belief is Christ's radical love — a love that sees the unnoticed, welcomes the forgotten, and comforts the lonely. “God sets the lonely in families” (Psalm 68:6). This simple yet powerful verse reminds us that no one is meant to face isolation alone — Christ calls us, His church, to become the family to those who feel forgotten. This love is deeply counter-cultural. It challenges the easy acceptance of isolation and brokenness, urging us instead towards connection, compassion, and courageous reconciliation.
Here at London City Mission, I've seen first-hand how Christ’s love transforms lives through intentional relationships and genuine community. Our Council Estates and Seniors teams regularly visit isolated elderly people, bringing friendship, care, and the hope of Jesus into forgotten lives. Something as simple as a home visit, a cup of tea, and genuine listening can profoundly change someone’s experience of loneliness. The Homeless and Marginalised ministries also demonstrate Christ’s love through practical care and relational connections, affirming the God-given dignity and worth of every person.
Imagine if more of us — across every generation — committed to sharing Jesus’s good news and reflecting his radical love. There's incredible potential in intergenerational relationships, combining the wisdom of older generations with the enthusiasm and creativity of younger ones. Together, churches can become communities that genuinely notice, welcome, and support isolated seniors. At London City Mission, we’re eager to partner with local churches, offering resources, training, and opportunities to engage meaningfully with these often-hidden issues.
Reconnecting with purpose
But perhaps the most powerful step we can take starts closer to home. If there's someone in your family or friendship circle you've lost touch with, someone isolated or distant, why not reach out today? Maybe there’s a phone call you’ve been delaying, a visit you’ve avoided, or forgiveness that needs to be offered. I urge you — don’t wait until it’s too late. Be brave. Reconnect. Extend grace.
As I reflect on Gene and Betsy’s story, and on my own father’s passing, I’m reminded of how precious and fragile relationships are. Let’s respond not only in sorrow but with intentional, Christ-like action, ensuring no one has to face their final days unnoticed or unloved.
Together, we can create communities in London where Christ’s radical love is lived out, bringing tangible hope and transformation to those hidden by isolation. Let’s start today.
Gather and Grow: Seniors Ministry Forum
Join us for a day of connection, growth and learning as we cultivate effective and transformative seniors’ ministries.
