If you’ve had any interaction with children under the age of 10 in the past few years, you’ll likely be well acquainted with Peppa Pig… and with her loveable, but often hapless dad, Daddy Pig.
If you watch more than a few episodes, you’ll see a common thread – whether it’s losing his glasses or forgetting to lock the front door – poor old Daddy Pig is often the butt of the joke.
He fits the mold of the silly daddy – a term I often hear levelled at dads these days.
I’m not here to knock an otherwise sweet-natured children’s TV programme, or to deny dads having a joke at their own expense, but I think the depiction of Daddy Pig gives an insight into how dads are often seen today.
I was really lucky with my dad. I felt secure and loved by him. He was always around – he took me swimming and we played football together. He was strict with me and my siblings – in a way that was perhaps more typical of fathers of that generation. There was a fear… a healthy fear, a desire to please him, but there was also a friendship. He was deeply affectionate and loving with me.
My friends would tease me saying, “Er, why do you hug and kiss your dad?!” I just felt sorry for them that they didn’t experience the same thing.
Through my ministry I spend a lot of time, alongside churches, with families on council estates. I’ve seen the positive impact of fathers in these communities, and the difference that their regular presence makes on the family, whether they are living at home or elsewhere. I think of one particular family where I’ve seen children grow up and flourish in otherwise very difficult circumstances and I can see how the stability of the family unit has made this possible.
Even across the diverse cultures on estates, I also often see more traditional attitudes towards fathers as roles of authority than I see in wider culture.
But I’ve seen the sad impact of where fathers have been absent.
I’ve recently got to know a 15-year-old boy whose dad has been absent for most of his life. He is angry and refuses to go to school. His mother spoils him, and so he has the latest PlayStation, trainers, tracksuit. But this feels like compensation for his dad not being around.
It’s in cases like this that I see the void of a strong fatherly voice to speak seriously into his life with compassionate authority. The youth charity I’m working alongside is in the process of finding an older male mentor.
But here’s the problem – even the best fathers are broken. I remember the first time I realised that my dad wasn’t perfect. I’ve seen weakness in him, and sickness.
And here’s where the message of hope comes when speaking with boys and girls (and for that matter, men and women) about fathers.
We want to point to our ultimate Father, who we can come to because he loves us, and he delights in us.
He is the father who we can revere and seek to please but also, through Jesus, who we can have friendship and true intimacy with.
The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. (Zephaniah 3.17)
Even the best fathers are just a reflection of God the Father. This can be a useful starting point when speaking with young people – asking young people about the best things they would want in a dad.
I’ve spoken to young people for whom this is a difficult concept to grasp because they’ve never had a father present in their lives. They don’t have a point of reference. It can sometimes be useful to think of characteristics they’ve seen in other people’s fathers, or just in older men – and to use this to paint a picture of what God the Father is like.
There are other more practical things to consider in terms of fatherhood, when you’re speaking with young people, especially in the communities that I serve.
One is not to assume that someone has a dad in their lives. Another one is to be aware that by talking about fathers this can potentially trigger painful experiences, so to be sensitive in the way that the topic is breached – acknowledging that people will have different experiences and relationships.
Finally, let’s speak positively to young people about Fathers, and the identity they’re called to. Not as spare wheels or as subjects of constant ridicule, even if they continually lose their glasses like Daddy Pig.
I think God intends dads to speak with authority into the lives of our families as well as to share deep intimacy with them.
God’s intention is for dads to reflect his fatherly character – signposts, (albeit broken ones), to our true daddy.
Find out more about Matt and his ministry here. Find out more about LCM's ministry in council estates and how your church can get involved here.
LCM shares the gospel alongside the local church of London, equipping everyday Christians to lovingly bring a message of hope in Christ to those least likely to hear it.
Registered Charity No. 247186
